There's something about mornings (another draft never posted)

By popular definition, I am by no means a morning person. I have a very healthy relationship with sleep and like to spend a lot of time sleeping. In the morning I move slowly, speak softly and if you would ask anyone who has met me, I don't appear to be myself (loud, fun, etc.) in the morning. Waking up is a process to me and I enjoy taking my time on that process. The ideal start to my day includes sitting outside in silence with a cup of coffee, just listening to the world wake up.

By my definition, I think that I am a morning person. Morning is my favorite time of day. The stillness and the unity of all earthly life is a peaceful and beautiful experience. When I first wake, I do not wish to speak a single word or make a sound. This is partially because I am tired and my voice is weak, but also because in the stillness of my waking hours, I feel that any sound I make is a sonic boom bursting through a delicate barrier of my waking body.

Where I am (draft that I didn't finish)

Ever had a guy do something completely unexpected and sweet for you? I mean something that you will never forget. Not surprise flowers, not an awesome gift, nothing like that. Honestly doing something for you. Thinking enough of you to do something simple and yet meaningful.
I never had, until last night. Last night, I sat on the living room couch

Wrote this draft August of '11. Posting because it's good enough

Life after college is an adjustment. All of my close friends are either still off at school or far away in their hometowns. I work nearly every single day thanks to my two jobs. I went from living on my own to living with my mom and what sometimes seems like hundreds of siblings. I lost the motivation I had for job searching and yet, I know that I am not where I want to be. Still okay with life, but aware that I won't be happy here for too long.

How long is too long? I don't know. I'm starting to feel the pressure now. Perhaps my years of off to school, back home, rinse and repeat have given me a limited amount of time to be happy living at home. I think that time is expiring. My career path is not showing any obvious signs of the right direction.

Suddenly it seems that where I left off on my career path, others are picking up my broken promises and bringing them to me. This is a process that gives me a small glimmer of hope only to fade away with internal frustration.

Thoughts on graduation

When I graduated high school, I was so excited. I couldn't wait to go to college! And now, four years of amazing memories and friends later, I can't believe college is coming to an end. Certainly the best days of my life, I just can't believe its over. Real life can't possibly be better than university life. Not a chance. This graduation is so different that previous ones. Yep. College graduation is a scary thing.

Ahead of me I have a world of possibilities, but slightly limited opportunities as I will be returning to my small home town. I am excited to spend my summer with my family and friends, but my lack of a plan after graduation is nerve-racking. Before, my plans were to move to Dallas, the current land of opportunity in the U.S. Recently that plan has become quite unattractive and so, I'll be in the land of green grass, bare feet and bonfires instead.

People love to ask about your plans after graduation. Usually, I just smile and say, "I have no idea." Some options I have considered? Careers, internships, grad school, law school, military, peace corps and only about a billion other ideas. Honestly, I don't know. I have no idea. I majored in public relations so I guess working in that field makes sense. Then again, I somehow feel that my education isn't over. I still want to learn more about myself.

For now, all I know is that I want to do something noble. I want to be respectable. All I need is enough to live and give to others. I have experienced many humbling and teachable moments since this journey began, but I have never lost sight of my ultimate goal. I want to change the world.

Dreams and Sleeping in on Wednesdays

Somehow I managed to sleep until about 2 p.m. today! That is ridiculous! I guess I was missing out on some needed sleep lately. Plus a tornado warning and sitting in the hallway until 1 a.m. wasn't very comforting. I tried to stay awake in case the sirens went off again. Or maybe I am a bum. Either way... Either way.

During this epic sleep last night/this afternoon, I had a very interesting dream. If you know me, you probably know that I often has very interesting, borderline disturbing dreams at times. I think that some of my dreams keep me as nice as I am to a certain handful of people who make me crazy.

For example, last night I dreamed that I took a bunch of my friends on a tour of my home town. Pretty normal, except one person (we'll call this person Pat) was not really welcome. Well Pat was doing his/her usual thing and trying to be controlling and judgmental. As usual, I was doing my thing and keeping fairly quiet.

Until...

On a pit stop, Pat decided to get in my car and make others move because he/she wanted the front seat. This was done in the usual "I am more important than everyone" style that Pat enjoys using in everyday situations. That was a breaking point.

In a way that was just angry and direct enough to leave me smiling when I woke up, I said to Pat, "YOU! You do NOT get to sit in my car, let alone sit shot gun! Get out of here now before I kick your butt into next week! And start being less of a jerk to me and all the other people you constantly make feel like crap! Or else!"

So, Pat went along his/her way and sat in the other car. Those in my car all applauded me and honestly, I was shocked that Pat actually listened to me. It was to my great surprise that Pat actually listened and was intimidated, because in real life Pat is a stubborn, stupid, overly-opinionated JERK.

So take that, Pat.

Almost a year?!

I suppose a good excuse for not writing is that my life is not all that exciting. I'm a poor college student who lives in the middle of nowhere (aka amongst the corn). I am interested in basically everything, much like any person in their early twenties.

The only thing that really is going on in my life is that I'm futilely job-searching. I'm from a town almost as small as the one I go to school in, and my tiny network in a large city has recently been no help. I am completely lost as to where my life is going. I am contemplating Grad school, which is ridiculous considering the infectious Senioritis I am currently suffering from. Then again, what the heck else am I going to do? I am on multiple job search sites daily. Between the obvious all-caps, too many exclamation-point-using questionable posts and the 3-5 years experience "entry-level" jobs, I could scream.

Employers, here's a small amount of advice from a job-seeker. I am not going to apply for you job that looks like this:

ENTRY LEVEL ENTRY LEVEL ENTRY LEVEL MARKETING/SALES, NO EXP. NEEDED!!!!! APPLY NOW!!! TRAINING AVAILABLE!!!! Are you a team player? self-starter? Blah Company is looking for young talent JUST LIKE YOU! Spaces fill immediately!

Honestly, if you write a job post like that, I automatically think that you aren't even a real company but some creepy pyramid scheme or something.

Then there is the "entry-level" job that requires 5 years of experience. If I am at an entry-level position after 5 years of experience, I'll be leaving that company. Really? 5 years? Don't list as entry level if you don't want entry level.

Bah! You should all hire me to write your job postings. You need me.