Here I am, in February 2016, making a sad attempt at a blog post, on a blog that should have been deleted years ago. Something made me keep it up. Writers' honor, I guess. Honoring the past and the posts I've bothered with along the way. Truth is, I gave up Facebook for Lent, this is probably a self-serving act to out myself out into the social media sphere. Maybe it's more. Lately I've felt many strong feelings, inklings, directions, callings, etc. I'm trying to be more intentional in listening to God. Frankly, it's weird to be saying that. If you're uncomfortable with my saying God is speaking to me, nudging me, we can say "the universe" or "my subconscious" is doing it. Whatever you need, buddy.
Anyway, one big thing I've been nudged to do is limit the messages I allow in, hence the no Facebook thing. That's pretty light. Makes sense. Not super difficult. Might even be good for me. Which brings my case in point, I've been nudged to notice my selfishness. My nasty stinking self-serving, self-absorbed, selfish self-ness. Woof. That's a tough one, God. Yep, I am selfish. It SERVES ME to be selfish. Why in the big wide world would I WANT to change that?! I was praying about it out loud with a friend, and I actually prayed, "God, help me be less selfish. Maybe help me to see how being less selfish will be good for me..." and then I literally laughed out loud. I couldn't believe my stupid, selfish mouth. Help me see how being less selfish will me GOOD for ME?! How can this SERVE ME?! *Shakes head* I hear ya, God. I clearly need help.
So I'm thinking I'll write a few posts here. Because, you guessed it, I've been feeling nudged to do so.
Until next time.
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